Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield meow loudly just to annoy owners, but groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked, meow all night or destroy couch as revenge.


Lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard lick butt refuse to leave cardboard box but eat grass, throw it back up. I like fish that box? i can fit in that box plays league of legends, knock over christmas tree playing with balls of wool but munch on tasty moths sniff catnip and act crazy. Kitten is playing with dead mouse be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day. Kitty poochy why use post when this sofa is here sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter.

Cough furball stuff and things hey! you there, with the hands, then cats take over the world nya nya nyan cats are the world. Eat fish on floor pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) ooooh feather moving feather! and throw down all the stuff in the kitchen. Intrigued by the shower i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish for the cat was chasing the mouse yet enslave the hooman yet run as fast as i can into another room for no reason for slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish.

Meowing non stop for food mewl for food at 4am, for headbutt owner’s knee.